Birthday 2014

The Tree

Yet another story of my youth. I think I was in the second grade when I ran into that tree. I remember telling my classmates that I had been hit by a car, because that was a better story. Plus the cuts and bruises on the side of my face needed an explanation. Here's the comic.

I was running so fast that I couldn't stop. Maybe I would've never stopped running had it not been for the tree. Aside from the unsightly cuts and bruises on my face. I'm glad the tree was there to stop what would've been a forever sprint. 

Hiccup Cure

This is how my mom cured my hiccups when I was six.

Go Back to School

The Mushroom Effect; Second Part of the Sketchbook

Part two of the Shroom Sketchbook.

Let's get started shall we?

Drawing eleven. 

                     

Moose head, really, really, up close. 

Drawing twelve is a great representation of the peak of the trip. 

There is enough going on in this one drawing to fill another notebook. 

From what I can tell, it's a cat... or a dog. 

I wrote "shrooms" on the right side of the page as though you wouldn't be able to tell that I was on drugs. 

I see a leaf on the bottom center.  In the corner there are these squiggles with smiles and text that reads, "We are water drops, we drop the water." Who knew that shrooming made you so deep.   

Drawing thirteen.

Torpedo bird and flying sky island. At this point I'm starting to come down from the trip...sort of.

Drawing fourteen. 

Snake creature swallowing an egg.

Drawing fifteen.

Another dinosaur like head, and an evil sperm.

Drawing sixteen.

This drawing is a little existential. 

Drawing seventeen.

Cat made of noodles?

Drawing eighteen.

Can you tell that I took anatomy classes in college? Because I can't.

Drawing nineteen.

Where to begin, where to begin? 

The little fat thing off to the side is really cute.

The totem pole creature that gave birth to that ferret fetus concerns me.  

Drawing twenty.

Teddy bear lying on the beach with a hole in its head. Gunshot wound? Why would someone shoot a teddy bear?

Drawing twenty one.

Crazy contorted cat. 

The end of the sketchbook.

The lesson to take from all of this is that drugs are bad. 

The Mushroom Effect; First Set of Drawings

Some years ago I was going through a psychedelic mushroom phase.

I found a sketchbook with drawings I made while I was heavily hallucinating. I thought I'd share the results of that trip... as a deterrent for taking drugs.

This was the first drawing

I do not remember drawing this. It appears to be an alcoholic taxidermy reindeer. 

p.s. drugs are bad. 

Here's the second drawing from the Shroom Sketchbook.

I guess, that while I was tripping I felt it necessary to write a brief description of the drawing. 

"Monk child in furry coat hovers over plains." 

Wow... really?

Again drugs are bad. 

Third drawing in the sketchbook.

Are blimps fast? I don't think that they are. Why did I write "zoosh?"

Looks more like a bomb. 

The perspective squares and triangles are kinda cool.

Fourth drawing

Dinosaur fossil with a mohawk. I must have been tripping through the Cretaceous punk period. I'm not so ashamed of this drawing.

Drawing five, where things start taking a turn.

An off-centered, one-eyed horned character waving. 

With writing that reads, "In the world of the blind, the one eyed, slightly going to the right, is king."  

Sixth drawing, this is a disturbing one. 

Devil like creature breathing fire, and burning down a village. 

At this point, I can only imagine that my mushroom trip is starting to really take off.  

Drawing Seven.

Melting lizard creature with human hands, what the hell? 

Drugs are super bad.

Drawing Eight.

Your guess is as good as mine... But things were probably really weird for me at this point.

Drawing Nine.

Apparently Dick Chenney shot this bird egg head thing. 

Drawing Ten.

I've been trying to make heads and tails of this. I'm convinced that only an extreme amount of therapy could determine what this could be.

I'm just relieved that all these sketches were the result of some highly potent fungi. 

Bird Talk

What People Will Say To Shiba Inu Owners

Tipping #1

Watching TV with Dad

Watching TV with Mom

The Desert is NOT Your Friend

Cab Outfit

Iguana Unleashed

When I turned 15 my parents let me get a green iguana for a pet. I named her Elvis. 

(The guy at the pet store had thought that she might be a male. I later took her to a Reptile Vet who confirmed otherwise. I kept the name.)

I originally wanted a snake but my parents thought a snake would be too dangerous. Little did we know that green iguanas are no walk in the park. 

The pet store guy neglected to tell us any useful information. He should have told me, that my baby iguana that fits in the palm of my hand, is going to grow as fast as an inch per month. That they grow sharp strong talons, have serrated teeth like sharks, and a muscular tail that they use as a whip. 

I didn't learn any of this until AFTER I took Elvis home. My parents thought that they were buying me a cute little lizard, not the five foot mini Godzilla she grew into.

Still I was determined to be the best damn iguana owner ever. 

One day in the pursuit of this pipe dream I came across an Iguana Harness and Leash. 

I immediately started having images of Elvis and I walking through the park, and it being amazeballs. 

I bought it, of course, and when I got home I put the leash on Elvis. At first she just angrily examined it. 

Scratched at it once or twice. Eventually she decided that it didn't bother her too much. She was more interested in walking around out of her cage. Everything was going as planned.

Until I tugged on the leash. 

She started to DEATHROLL like a fucking alligator.

I was panicking, I didn't know how to stop her from hurting herself or from hurting me. She finally wore herself out. She was completely tangled. I had to cut her out of the leash with scissors. I didn't see myself using it in the future.  

Shibas at Dog Park

It's Called a Dress

This was a real conversation I had with my boyfriend.

Indecisive Customer

What do you do?

I studied art in school. I've done some freelance work since then, but not enough for me to consider it as "what I do for a living." My main source of income comes from my serving job.

When you first meet someone. The question that will eventually, if not immediately, come out of their mouths will be, "what do you do?" I always say I'm a waitress. 

It doesn't ever evoke the "wow that's cool" reaction from this new person.

I made a decision.

From now on, I am going to tell people that I am an artist. With the hope that if I do it enough, I will believe it and it will become a reality.

The next new person I met. I waited for the question. I was ready. 

This is exactly how that interaction went.

He saw right through me.